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How to Forgive After an Affair
 Gabriel Sebastian
For many or anyone, be it man or woman who has been cheated on, the emotional trauma can carry a heavy emotional burden. Many doubts, questions and feelings of insignificance can occur. Emotional bonds with friends and families become strained and persist, the longer time period that it may have occurred, the extent of the damage. All lead to the same question. Why?
In some cases, the problem plays along like this. First comes the unexpected slap in the face of infidelity. In younger marriages, and for couples in bad relationships, the cheating can go even further than that of more "normal consequences".
Statistics have shown that dating back to the first time a guy by the name of Kinsey decided to collect this information proved and exposed that for a long time, both husbands and wives alike, cheat. When we finally are able to start getting over the "feeling sorry for oneself stage," there may or may not be a knee jerk reaction of a counter affair.
Once however, it does get to this stage, there is really no turning back. The tell-tale signs of an affair play out as old adages. "I never suspected": "How could he/she?" As cliché as it may seem, you are typically the last to find out.
What can one do to save a marriage that has reached this level?
Most times it's near impossible and marriage counseling will not work. Feelings of trust are gone and true honesty goes out the door. Accepting the facts and that you are not the only one this has happened to are just a few universal truths that help you heal.
You must accept and forgive your spouse, not for them, but for yourself. You must fight to maintain it. Or you will be doomed to destroy the next one, or even the existing one that you may want to save. (Note I never stated anything about forgetting).
Seeking out marriage counseling may start helping but if you're the one that got cheated, you make the rules. The offending partner must respect the space; it is they who committed the transgression. However, this should only be done if both partners are willing and comfortable and open to it.
Seek the marriage counseling advice, but be humble in your position of righteousness. There usually is a deeper reason when there has been an affair of why it happened in the first place. Besides, you never know if it will be you who needs the forgiving someday in your life.
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